Mr. Fire's Pyre

Fire Fire Everywhere

2011-09-09T14:14:00.000-07:00

Fireboy, aka Mr. Fire himself, is asking people to "Nevillize" away the central Texas fires.

Remember, kids, if you're breathing in smoke from wildfires, it's because you're not being positive enough.

And if Mr. Fire is breathing in fire (instead of spewing out sulfurous material as is his usual modus operandi), then there is only one real solution. That solution is to rally the troops. See, if people will only think positive thoughts, imagine rain, and meditate, use EFT, hooponopono, then it will help. See, he's been doing it and the wildfires in his area have increased in containment. Oh, and it happened INSTANTLY he said.

He writes:

People from all over the world sat and prayed, or visualized, or intended and requested that the fires diminish.

What happened?

Almost instantly a friend who had been evacuated from his home due to the fires wrote to me saying the smokes seemed to clear, the power came back on, and he was told he could return home safely.

Friends of mine who were preparing to evacuate were told they were safe.

Then I looked at the news and saw that while the fires were still burning and there was no rain in sight, most of the larger fires around my area of Austin, Texas were either contained, put out, or greatly improved in containment.

See? It works! Just pray and think and it will magically fix itself. Oh, but if it doesn't work, he'll bring out some crap about how he talks about action and tell people he never said that thoughts make magic happen.

But here we are again, with Mr. Fire saying that people should use the power of their mind -- and use intentions -- to make the wildfires stop. It worked for his friends!

But in other communications, he'll tell you that intentions are for wussies. Or that he never said that thoughts create magical miracles.

So. What is it? What's the truth? If thoughts, words, intentions and unconscious beliefs create reality, what is Mr. Fire creating every time someone types in mrfire.com? Fire. Everywhere. Fire. Central Texas. Fire. Joe Vitale. Fire boy.

But don't try to blame Mr. Fire for thoughts creating reality, unless it somehow makes him look like he isn't unconsciously Law of Attracting Fire to central Texas.

If you are Mr. Fire, you are using more than 2 dozen scientifical studies that prove when people hold intentions for Mr. Fire, those intentions come to pass. I'm sure all of those FLAMES on your web site wouldn't get hypnotically into people's unconscious, would they.

So. Either thoughts, intentions, and magical thinking don't have any effect, or Mr. Fire has some responsibility in Law of Attracting himself a regional disaster. The logic he uses holds about as much water as the Pedernales River has in it right now. Aka, not much.

I'm not saying people shouldn't pray for Texas. I think a prayer or two would be nice. Supporting the people who are there with tangible donations would be better.

My problem, and the reason for this blog post, is with the fallacy of logic of the past two Joe Vitale posts. It's the fallacy of logic he uses to sell everything from crappy books to overpriced, scammy miracles coaching. It's the fallacy of logic that requires criticism and scrutiny.

Instead of wussified intentions, Joe, why don't you donate some of that vast wealth you say you've accumulated in your marketing to help some of those people who lost their homes?

Also, remember that during the San Diego fires of a few years back, Joe Vitale blamed the victims of those fires for what happened. The evidence has all but disappeared from his blog, but there's enough discussion on the internet to keep your google goggles busy.

Update: Thanks to our friend, Cosmic Connie, here are some links that will remind you of what Joe Vitale REALLY thinks about people who suffer from wild fires.

http://cosmicconnie.blogspot.com/2007/10/all-fired-up.html

http://cosmicconnie.blogspot.com/2007/10/all-fired-up-continued.html

http://cosmicconnie.blogspot.com/2007/10/putting-out-fires.html

http://shambook.blogspot.com/2007/11/mr-fire-indeed.html

Timothy Wilson versus Joe Vitale

2011-09-02T14:13:00.000-07:00

Oh, now this is getting fun.

Joe has announced a new Abundance Network after lunching with God. Hint: Joe has in the past announced television shows such as Expect Miracles, a radio show on CNN, and a TV show on CBS. He has announced bogus charities that do nothing but feed his ego and make him APPEAR to be generous, meanwhile doing absolutely NOTHING. My prediction: the abundance network will amount to Joe's pile of dirt.

Joe has announced a trip to fantasy island, but you have to pay him $50,000 and he's not even going to dress up like his alter-ego, Tattoo. Don't worry, he'll still look like Danny Devito, and your brilliant imagination skills can make up the rest. Friend of the Pyre, Cosmic Connie has details on that.

But look what Fireboy did. He got mentioned in a book called Redirect by Timothy D. Wilson, the Sherrell J. Aston Professor of Psychology at the University of Virginia. On page 45, no less. The shot isn't completely directed at Joe, there's lots of mentions of his cohorts in the "movie" The Secret. But Joe, our fearfilled leader, takes it upon himself to defend himself and the rest of the make-believers in the Law of Attraction. You see, Joe never said anything about thoughts creating your reality. It's about actions. Actions create your reality. That's it, that's the ticket.

Oh, and I love the way Joey shows off that he learned a big word in that blog post where he defends himself against the completely unconscious Timothy D. Wilson. But then again, small minded "Got Milk" types of hucksters trying to play superior games against well respected actual Ph.D. (not the pretend Ph.D. in "meta-physics Joe Vitale asserts that he has from a diploma mill) always have amused me.

So, real Dr. Wilson says that movies like The Secret and just-think-happy-thoughts self-help books and programs that not-Dr. Vitale put out actually cause more problems than they're worth.

Joe's response:

He [the author of 'Redirect'] quotes me as saying the reason you have what you have is due to your thoughts. He apparently missed the part where I said you have what you have due to your actions. Thoughts are only part of the equation. Glossing over facts because they don’t support your underlying message is a common way to communicate...

...I’m not kicking the author’s shins, as I enjoyed his book and urge you to read it. But I am reminding us that we all have unconscious blind spots – even authors who try to help us see them. We don’t see them because they are unconscious. The point of life is to awaken.

I'd love to see if real Dr. Wilson would ever respond to not-Dr. Vitale. Is Dr. Wilson awakened enough to spend $50,000 of his book earnings to actually attend not-Dr. Vitale's Fantasy Island? Would Dr. Wilson be open enough to let go of his unconscious patterns and play the role of Rourke? I think not, Dr. Wilson. I think not. I bet Malcolm Gladwell, who apparently raves about Dr. Wilson's books, wouldn't invest $50,000 on Make-a-piece-off-you island either.

Let's talk a little bit about "glossing over facts," shall we? It's a common way to communicate in Joe Vitale's experience, and I agree. He experiences himself glossing over facts a lot. Like the facts about what he has really said.

Sometimes he tells us that we do things with our thoughts. Sometimes he tells us we need to set intentions. Sometimes he tells us we need to listen to specially designed audios to set our intentions. Sometimes he tells us intentions are for wussies. Sometimes he tells us we need to neutralize negative thoughts. Sometimes he tells us it's all in our unconscious and we need to hooponopononono on it, like he just did to Dr. Wilson. Sometimes he likes to say that it is little kid's fault for attracting their killers, like he did on Larry King.

OK, now I am tired. Apparently, Joe likes to gloss over what some truths and concentrate on whatever message might be most profitable in the moment. If he was telling the truth, he wouldn't contradict himself every other minute. He'd have some congruency in the products he puts out.

My order of Redirect is coming soon. I am hoping I get to see whether or not Dr. Wilson is congruent in his message in the book. I think there will be a lot of congruency in his message that self help materials like Joe Vitale's, like The Secret, do much more harm than good.

Joe Vitale's God

2011-07-03T09:13:00.000-07:00

We're still talking about Joe Vitale's lunch with God. It's fascinating, really, and it gives you a little look into Joe Vitale's motivations, psychology, and reality. For someone who says he loves everyone, for someone who tweets frequently that "I love you" is the most powerful statement you can say, it's odd who Joe feels God-like feelings towards.

Is it someone with a huge heart, someone who radiates love and kindness in every statement?

Is it someone who can provide him health and healing?

Is it someone who can solve homelessness? (After all, Joe says this is a big problem, a problem worthy of his conspicuous altruistic attention.)

Is it someone who can solve worldwide problems of hatred, bigotry, and violence?

Or is it someone who has a few hundred million at his disposal.

Yes, the person who shows up and makes Joe see God is a per$on in bu$ine$$ ca$ual that make$ Joe $ee what i$ mo$t important to him.

Not love.
Not health.
Not helping people.
Not changing the world.

Nope. Joe Vitale saw dollar signs, and that is his God. He's willing to take someone's last few thousand dollars through a hard sell in his miracle coaching program before he will help a homeless person.

Operation YES, according to my research, is a sham organization that does absolutely nothing. It doesn't meet the promises that have been stated for nearly 4 years. It doesn't even try.

Joe Vitale's primary focus is money, it is his God, it is what he wants more than anything. And when he says "I love you" what he really means is "I love your money."

If Operation YES really is committed to changing the world and not just a sham organization that Joe pulls out when he's looking to look altruistic, why did he not tell his "God" in their lunch meeting about his goals of helping people around the world overcome homelessness? Why was that not pitched as an idea bigger than big, bigger than Joe's ego?

Perhaps because Joe feels that he wouldn't get enough attention, that the evil mainstream media would just turn it into another Hoshun doll escapade and ridicule Joe. Because there are never any feel good stories about people overcoming homelessness on mainstream media. Nevermind this guy. They are just looking to victimize people like Joe who are REALLY doing good work, you know.

Operation YES, homeless of the world, you're on your own. Really, it isn't Joe's fault that the media won't report in his favor. But he'll show them. Yes, he will. He'll show them.

After all, he's got "God" on his $ide.

God visits Joe Vitale (or not)

2011-07-01T14:59:00.000-07:00

I apologize, dear readers, for neglecting you for so long. You took the time to follow me, encourage me, and off I go living a Fire-free life. How dare I.

I had to go back and look at my notes to see where we left off, and to see what Joe Vitale has up his sleeve these days. There's no real theme to what he's doing.... promoting a few products from Clickbank, promoting his pal Pat O'Bryan's unseminar coming up this month, and then... this morning, he wrote a blog post about a lunch meeting with "God."

I'm sure you know that he doesn't really mean GOD himself. Or George Burns. Or even Morgan Freeman.

I don't think he even meant Osho, Dr. Hew Len, or any other of his spiritual advisors.

Maybe Central Market needs to check their mushroom stash. Perhaps Joe was having psychedelic visions again.

Personally, I think he's just trying to call attention to himself.

(I know, say it isn't so. A known narcissist calling attention to himself with empty, false promises of things that will never come to pass. Like perhaps a miracle from miracles coaching.)

Well, apparently this business casual diety asked Joe to think big. Joe's thought processes immediately turned to the biggest thing he could imagine. He thought of his ego. The diety in khaki said to think bigger than that.

Joe was amazed. His eyes widened.

There's something bigger than Joe's ego? Really?

Maybe... yes. It is entirely possible.

Remember that evil media man, Dan Harris from ABC News, that twisted and turned his meeting with Joe into a hatchet job... this after Joe shared his love of all things indie music and bonded with Dan so deeply and spiritually. They were such good friends! Remember them... they tried to make Joe look human with foibles and attacked his beloved ego.

Perhaps Joe could find a way to upstage them and finally have his revenge? Perhaps Joe could have his OWN (not affiliated with Oprah Winfrey Network) network and only allow Vitale-approved news on it? Maybe Joe could take all of those negative nay-sayers, you know the ones that control everything in this world and try to make people feel bad so they buy things like medicine and food, and show them how media should be done. Joe has "complained" (his words not mine) about them in the past.

Yes, apparently, Joe is still burned by his own little fire from that experience.

Yes. That way, Joe could prop up his beloved ego and put everyone who doesn't worship at the Altar of Joe's Ego in their place. What a way to turn a negative into such an ego-worshipping positive! Way to go, Joe! I hear your business casual GOD really loved that! I'm sure all the great metaphysical texts have mentioned something about making up conversations with people you think are dieties in cafes on hot summer days.

Let's see. If the Law of Attraction really does work, then how did Joe attract such an ego-crushing experience with Dan Harris in the first place? What did you do, Joe? What awful, horrible thoughts did you have that magnetized your mind for such humiliation? After all, isn't your primary teaching that you should take responsibility for everything that happens to you?

Or maybe bad things do really happen to such wonderful people such as yourself? How is it that you area victim of evil Dan Harris, but your "friend" who was down on his luck from your previous blog post created it all himself?

Here's a question, and I've been doing my own investigative work to find an answer. But Joe doesn't talk about his homeless days much at all. Some people have suggested that perhaps Joe was never really homeless. Other people have suggested that perhaps Joe was actually homeless for a matter of a couple of weeks. We are just not really altogether sure whether or not Joe was really as down and out as he purports in his marketing.

We'd like to know, though.

Which leads us to another look at Joe's "world changing" Operation YES initiative. This is yet another thing that Joe mentions in passing all too often, but it's something that Joe hasn't done anything with. Nothing. Joe wanted to end homelessness (you know, the problem he's so intimately familiar with), but there has not been one dime invested, not one change made, not one person's life affected by his Operation YES initiative. The only thing that has changed is the removal of James A. Ray's name from the Operation YES web site.

If I'm wrong, please prove me wrong, Joe. Stop talking about what Operation YES should be, and show some hard evidence of what it has done. Otherwise, I will assume that Operation YES is just another vanity affair like your Abundance Television Network will be.

A lot of talking, a lot of promises, and no substance whatsoever. Kind of like the little Russian Wish Doll Joe and Pat O'Bryan dreamed up to make all your dreams come true. Or did they take that idea from a woman named Maria Joe met while traveling in Russia?

My expectation is that Joe will do nothing with the Abundance Television Network. Just like he did nothing with the Expect Miracles Television show he promised was in the offing about 4 years ago. Just like so many products, books, services... it's all just empty platitudes... marketing at its best... substance at its least.

Recycled information... over and over again.

And that's my opinion, of course.

You're being lied to

2010-09-17T10:21:00.000-07:00

Joe Vitale recently sent the following email to his list.

The subject line is: You're being lied to.

He writes in the email that he's "really sick of the 'experts' who are trying to explain the Law of Attraction to you."

Is Joe now a critic? One of those evil critics who would be better off doing something more productive than criticising other people? Because that's what he calls people who are critical... and it seems that not only is Joe Vitale being critical of other people who teach the Law of Attraction, but he's also accusing them of being liars.

Which teacher of the Law of Attraction would be a liar, Joe? Would that be Rhonda Byrne in her new book? Or your friend James Ray? Tell us, Joe, who is the big "expert" liar here... and no cheating by confessing your own lies... we're all well aware of those.

The email is specifically designed to suck people into a trial run of his Miracles Coaching program... you know the one... the one that is described in this blog post here: Joe Vitale's Miracles Coaching Review. There are links in one of the comments after the review that describe the program's scammy sales pitchfest that I suggest you read too.

Edited to add: here's a post from someone that was probably sucked in by this very email. Help me to not help Joe Vitale help me.

Being who I am... you know the keeper of the pyre... I receive emails. Sometimes its from people who just need to vent some about their experiences but don't want the shame of their experience being publicized. I understand... I've been there. I listen, I write back, and I keep their confidence. It's not my job to tell their stories.

But I can tell you that there are other stories out there. Apparently Joe knows the stories too... the stories about how Joe Vitale's Miracles Coaching program is just another front for Prosper Inc., a company that has some shady dealings behind the scenes. He knows the stories about how how Joe Vitale's Miracles Coaching program is really just a book-study program for which they charge people thousands of dollars.

The Rolls Royce Masterminds get the press from ABC News (press that fireboy thinks is unfair - oh, cry me a river... is it fair to take someone's last few thousand dollars for a promise undelivered?), but I'd hope that you take a deeper look at the Joe Vitale's Miracles Coaching program. This sucks in far more people and delivers far, far less.

In the email Joe sends out, he says that he credits coaching with helping him recover from homelessness. Funny, last time I heard him speak, he credited a pencil and free books from the library.

Here's the body of the email below.... and coming soon, a preview of Joe Vitale's new program, The Abundance Paradigm. Here's a hint: No matter what way you slice it, it's still the same loaf of nutrient-deficient white bread.

I'm really sick of all the "experts" who are
trying to explain the Law of Attraction to you.

Maybe they actually believe what they are saying.

I don't know but I can't stand to see you mislead.

For that reason, I want you to take me up on my
offer to get a taste of Miracles Coaching, to see
if it is right for you.

No cost.

No obligation.

I know you may be nervous about talking to
someone about Miracles Coaching.

I know because I've been there.

The first time I went to see a coach, I could
hardly breathe.

And my car stalled on the way there.

I knew this was my inner resistance to leaving
my comfort zone. But I also knew I had to do
something to change.

So I told myself (and my car), "I'm going to
that session no matter what!"

As a direct result, I left the old unhappy
and unsuccessful me and became a new man
with levels of new success I only dreamed of
before.

You can have this, too -- or something even
better.

Go see --
http://www.miraclescoaching.com

How bad was it for me before I got a coach?

A few months ago I went to Dallas to relive my
homeless days while a TV crew filmed it all.

It sucked.

I didn't like going there.

I didn't like being there.

I didn't like reliving the misery.

But I'm glad I went through it.

I was finally able to break through the black
cloud I've unconsciously carried from three
decades ago.

When people ask me how I went from
homeless to bestselling author, all I can
tell them is I never let go of my dream
and I persistently and relentlessly worked
toward making it a reality.

And I worked at my dream while I was homeless,
in poverty, struggling with no job at all or jobs
I hated so bad I cried driving to and from them.

I never gave up.

I kept going to the library, kept reading
self-help and self-improvement books,
and kept applying what I read.

It all helped me.

But it wasn't enough.

I needed something more.

The giant breakthrough came when I got
a personal coach.

I wrote about this in my book, "The Attractor
Factor," and I've told the story many times.

While you'll grow with books and audios --
and you should keep reading them as
nourishment for your mind and soul --
the dramatic leaps to new levels will come
more easily and quickly with a coach.

That's why I started Miracles Coaching
more than four years ago.

It's to help you dissolve your hidden limitations
and leap frog up the ladder of success.

It's to help you to understand the Law of
Attraction, so you can actually get the results
you prefer.

It's to help you attract miracles.

To help you taste what I'm talking about,
just go to --
http://www.miraclescoaching.com

Again, it's freeee.

It's a gift to you, to help you move forward.

And all you have to do is request it.

It'll help you have a better day, too.

In fact, your first miracle could be that call.

Isn't it time?

Love,

Joe

PS - You can listen to an interview with
one of my Miracles Coaches, and watch a
short video about Miracles Coaching, at
the site. Again, it's at --
http://www.miraclescoaching.com

Coming Soon: My new audio program will be out
late October: "The Abundance Paradigm: Moving
from the Law of Attraction to the Law of
Creation." You'll love it. :)

Video Link Generator

2010-08-15T13:51:00.000-07:00

Did you know that there is a new product called the Video Link Generator? Did you know that it is a free video link generator, but that there are also upsell options available so that it is also a paid video link generator?

That's right! It's web site that does a whole bunch of things that is generating links for videos. And other things. But there's something else you should know about generating links for videos.

Why you need a video link generator

This new product just released is probably easy to find if you guess the domain. But this little post is designed to help the search engines figure out that a really cool video link generator has existed for a long time, and that this OTHER video link generator is probably a better option for you if integrity is important to you.

Yes, Burned by Fire is taking a side. I'm taking the side of someone who is experiencing what I experienced 4 years ago in the same disgusting inner circle of rip off artists in Wimber-lie.

You would probably enjoy learning more about another video link generator, except it is called a Video Code Maker. Still. It makes working with video online a lot easier and productive. And you want to be more productive with your videos, don't you.

I'm sure you're smart enough to figure out which Video Link Generator is best for your needs. But I also hope you read the comments in this blog post about how a certain person in Wimberley, Texas basically took another person's idea. It's called integrity, and I hope you put your video link generation needs to buy from the person with more integrity than the other person.

So, go get the video link generator from the person with the most integrity.

As you might surmise from reading this, I really have no idea what the Video Code Maker does. Or the Video Link Generator either. I do know how certain people roll however, and I'm happy to do my part to bump the search engines in the right way, and to ensure than anyone who thinks they want to use the Video Link Generator at that other domain fully understands what they're supporting if they want to use that link generation option for their videos.

Joe Vitale's Empire of Miracles

2010-08-12T13:58:00.000-07:00

I saw Joe Vitale speak about ho'oponopono about 4 years ago back before his book Zero Limits was written. He did this exercise where he had people brainstorm up all of these ideas on a white board and then he told us that none of that stuff ever matters because what really matters is inspiration and going back to a clean whiteboard.

Then he said that he didn't know what he was going to talk about that day, it was going to come from inspiration.

It's the same exact spiel he did at the TLC meeting in Santa Fe. He posted the videos to not much fanfare at all, but he sure did inspire Steve Pavlina. I am actually finding Pavlina's inspired 30 days experiment rather interesting to watch. But to say that he was inspired to do so by Mr. Fire's inspired speech is to say that you were inspired by a lie.

===
So, Joe Vitale says he has a new show coming up with CBS.

First, what is CBS thinking? Do they want to throw money away the way that other network did on Tony Robbins? If Tony Robbins can't make it last more than 2 episodes, I think Joe Vitale's track record will be even worse.

But shame on CBS for giving a scammer free air time to suck people into the scam of Joe Vitale's Miracles Coaching amongst other things.

Are we going to start taking bets that it's not going to come to fruition? Let's think about this. Joe is always tooting his own horn that he's going to have the next greatest media appearance. He's told us that he was going to:

- be on Oprah (didn't happen)
- have his own TV show called Expect Miracles (didn't happen)
- have his own documentary about his not-really a non-profit, Operation YES, from which he says he will end homelessness in one day (didn't happen)
- have his own radio show with CNN
- blah blah fishcakes

How many other things has Joe Vitale SAID he was going to do but he never does them? Let's see...

Wasn't he going to buy a multi-million dollar house? I don't see any evidence of that ever happening either. How about ending homelessness? I just saw a hobo who said Joe Vitale allegedly offered him $5 to do something awful behind the dumpster at the Jack in the Box. What other things has Joe said were going to happen, but he can't live up to his hype?

Healing the gulf of mexico with affirmations set to music? Actually helping people?

With his track record, we should keep score of what Joe says he's going to do versus what he actually does.

Note: this type of hype of what he SAYS is going to happen versus what WILL happen applies to his products too. If you don't believe me, look at his own disclaimer. He's telling you right there that he's not going to deliver on the hype... what he's selling you is "hard work." Note: this is YOUR HARD WORK, not his.

===

Speaking of TV shows, Joe was on ABC news not long ago. First, he was ridiculed during a program about Joe's good friend James Ray who allegedly murdered people in a sweat lodge in Sedona due to his negligence. Joe looked like a complete idiot during this program, and he similarly looked like an idiot on the replay on ABC news this last weekend.

ABC is doing something interesting here... they call him a successful self-help guru, and the article is vague in its criticism. This is actually kind of smart, because it pulls people in who might otherwise think Joe is a decent human being but plants the subtle idea that perhaps Joe is an egomaniac who will really take you for a ride.

Joe, oblivious to his own egomaniacal ways, promotes the ABC article as something that is good for him. I had to wonder WTF was happening here, but here's the deal. Joe has so many of his cult followers in a trance believing that he deserves positive attention and that it couldn't happen any other way. Joe plants hypnotic trances in his products and marketing (he is, of course, the godfather of hype-notic marketing, right?) so that people are more receptive to his other marketing. So if they see something vague, and Joe tells them its positive, their hypnotic trance tells them it is so.

It's pretty pathetic, and probably continued contributory evidence that he has a very small penis and severe mental capacity problems, that he needs to resort to lies, manipulation, and hypnosis in order to sell a product. He has to resort to lies, stealing, and manipulating hypnosis in order to convince people that he is more than what he is. He has to play mind games and mind tricks in order to convince people that he knows anything at all.

And I feel sorry for the people who fall for it.

I feel sorry for myself for falling for it many years ago.

But if you notice something, Joebots need to cycle through... people eventually start seeing that there is no evidence of success in their lives despite dumping thousands of dollars on Joe Vitale's Miracles Coaching program and his other products... and they wake up. The cognitive dissonance is too great for them. And they wake up, eventually. At least most of them do.

So he needs to keep sucking them in so that he can keep sucking in their cash.

For those that never wake up, or for those that sense something is seriously wrong but can't quite put their finger on it, they are required by the very nature of the Vitale world to believe that Joe is great, Joe does no wrong, Joe experiences no wrong, Joe is as close to diety as you can experience. It is all an illusion, an illusion that would make the greatest magician and hypnotist proud of him. Or maybe disgusted.

Hey, sounds just like a cult. Joe must have learned those tactics when he recruited for Rajneesh back in the day.

Good job, CBS radio. You'll be helping a whole new group of people experience the psychosis veiled as self help.

There are good self help teachers out there... but they're few and far between. And you have to keep your wits about you so that you don't get sucked into a victimization type of relationship with a teacher or guru. My advice is to look beyond the personality and look at the information being presented. The information will speak for itself.

===

In other news, apparently Pat O'Fat O'Breakdown O'Bryan launched another scam attempt charging for something that is freely available elsewhere with his video link generator. Nerissa Oden, who also has a video link creation application, and who is also "married" to Joe Vitale. Oh noes, did Pat O'Bryan take her idea? She's pretty heated up about it, apparently taking her frustration to her Facebook wall. She also repeats some of the standard secret-type thinking about how Pat is just triggering her, blah blah.

And that, my friends, is similar to the brainwashing that happens with other people in the Vitale empire. If they want to be a part of the non-potable Joe Vitale empire, they have to agree that Joe is awesome and that anything that is wrong is something that they manifested into their experience. So they beat themselves up and shame themselves for the wrongs they've experienced.

Thus, the people around Joe and Pat remain victims if they want to remain around Joe and Pat. They are bullied into either believing the lie or at the very least remaining silent to the truth.

This, my friends, is Joe Vitale's secret to success. It isn't affirmation, meditation, ho'oponopono, zero limits, law of attraction, saying "I love you" (more likely "I love me"), and it doesn't come from integrity. Joe Vitale's secret of success is pretty much summed up by They Might Be Giants in Kiss Me Son of God.

I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage

Called the blood of the exploited working class

But they've overcome their shyness

Now they're calling me Your Highness

And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God"

Yes a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God"

The Secret to Attracting Salty

2010-07-16T16:10:00.000-07:00

Yes, we all know Joe Vitale is the crypt keeper of the Missing Secret, The Secret to Attracting Money, and the Secret to getting clear on weight loss, and all kinds of other missing secrets that allow him to lease Rolls Royces.

What's missing in his Vitale Vault ($40 a month, btw) is the Secret to Attracting Salty Droid. And the Secret to looking awful on ABC News, and the Secret to not having your brown-nosing work on Dan Harris.

Maybe he can't connect with Pat O'Bryan, because Pat also apparently has the keys to the kingdom, too.

Yes, this is how the Law of Attraction really works, kiddies. You set your intentions, you get clear on what you really want, and you get someone who gets everything he wants sell you over-priced awful clearing products that screw with your unconscious mind.

So, if you're looking to attract the attention of a group of people who find your products, marketing, and general persona distasteful (to say the least), drop some cash on the Vitale programs. They really work!

For those of you who have missed me, aww, thanks. I've missed me, too. I have quite a few unfinished blog posts that aren't even timely anymore. Best thing is to watch VitaleWatch on twitter. Somehow hacking together 140 characters is more suited to my time constraints.

Did the HCG Diet Destroy Joe Vitale's Brain?

2010-04-15T09:59:00.001-07:00

It's been a while, and unfortunately I don't have much exciting news to report as a result of my extended absence. It's just that this is not even a hobby blog, so when life, hobbies, or even a party comes along, making fun of fireboy's self-indulgent rantings in pursuit of the almighty dollar takes a distant last in my priority list.

But these recent developments are rather egregious, so I'm thrust back into Snarkville whether or not I like it or not. Thanks a million, Joe. No, really. You think I LIKE having to point out your stupidity? Not at all. I'd rather ignore you. I'd keep my lunch down a lot easier if I did.

And since I actually know how to modulate my meals, my lunch for the last month has been more than a little lettuce leaf like you and fathead O'Bryan's meals. Are you back to the Caligula-styled feasts with your boytoys now that HCG is done - again?

How about this wondrous promise of the super-secret drug delivery mechanism HCG diet that Fireboy, his girlfriend, and Pat O'Bryan have been on? Lovely, this diet. It's based on a program that Kevin Trudeau wrote about in his "they" series of tomes. The secret HCG diet purportedly promises to reset your metabolism and your "set point weight" so that you never gain the weight back.

At least that's what Joe Vitale said when he started the HCG diet in early 2009. He would never have to diet again! Good thing he was able to do the diet AGAIN this year. You know, especially since he said in 2009 that he would never have to do it again.

Brilliant!

My bet is that the super-secret delivery mechanism is thus...

1. stick some sublingual HCG tablets in your super-secret Siberian Hoshun wish dolly.
2. Close up hoshun and give thanks that he doesn't have any eyes.
3. Say the magic word. (sshhhh, it's a super secret word)
4. Shove the unwitting hoshun wish dolly up your fat ass.

Voila! Not only have you conned unwitting hype-no-tized followers into buying your wish doll JPG printout, you're going to eradicate the evidence of your self-indulgent excesses from your hips, thighs, and ever-expanding ASS!

Like I said, BRILLIANT!

I think that the HCG diet has destroyed Joe Vitale's brain... last year after he did it, this is when he started his completely insane rampage of illustrious internet marketing. And this year... well, let's see.

Mr. Fire is seeking free labor in the form of interns so that he can document his efforts to end homelessness for a supposed "CNN reality show." Good job, Joe! Keep the free labor coming in... nevermind that actually PAYING someone for work done would contribute to the success that Joe Vitale so often spouts off about wanting for people.

I'm sure he wants others to be successful.

But never at his expense... he expects others to give to him for free. Of course, they get the grand payment of being in his HCG-whittled presence. I suppose that's payment enough.

Oh, but according to his latest blog post, you should DEMAND money.

Just not from him. No, he should get a free pass and free labor.

And for those of you who have purchased any of "his work," his lack of investment in a quality project is apparent.

When was the last time Joe Vitale had a quality product? Maybe when he took all of Dr. Hew Len's information, repackaged it, and tried to shine the light of spirituality on him. Now that Hew Len has taken his road-show elsewhere leaving Zero Limits behind, Vitale is stuck trying to justify how he's going to end homelessness in one day.

If you haven't done it by now, Joey, you aren't going to. You're just a Kevin Trudeau wannabe... you'll have to invent a "they" for people to run away from in order to have some faux credibility.

Later, I'll address the issue of Fireboy's latest illogical blog post in which he states he's found the scientific proof that the Law of Attraction is actually a scientifically verifiable fact. Oh, but wait, he's not really saying that. Didn't you read his blog post? Are you learning impaired? You're not supposed to actually read the HEADLINE, you're supposed to dig through the excrement of his writing for the REAL meaning. He quotes from a book written by an actual SCIENTIST (ooh) who also writes science fiction. (Guess which genre this book falls into?)

Then Fireboy says:

Also according to Taylor, the Law of Attraction is not a law. He declares that the “law” is more an adage; a philosophical or psychological maxim. He doesn’t dismiss it; he simply says it’s not a law by strict scientific proof. There’s no empirical evidence for it.

Wait, what was that headline again, fireboy?

Scientific Evidence for The Secret’s Law of Attraction

Hmm. That oughta get your critical thinking faculties started. He's contradictory and illogical and trying to confuse you... so he can hype-no-tize you.

And Joe, remember, just because you think it, doesn't mean it's true. The emperor still isn't wearing any clothes... and the HCG diet hasn't made that vision any more appealing.

2010-02-11T07:50:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the long-time, no-write, kids.

I've actually tried writing a few posts in the past week since Dan Harris of ABC News interviewed Joe Vitale. I was hoping to analyze what may have happened during that interview, but I think if you read Mr. Fire's blog post about it, you can read between the lines. Darn those mainstream media reporters! Always asking questions!

If you follow me on Twitter, you probably got the jist of what I think about the interview and Joe Vitale's comments about the interview.

But my experience yesterday got me thinking enough to start writing again. Here's the backstory.

Two days ago, Pat O'Bryan re-tweeted a comment by Mark Joyner on Twitter. In it he comments:

Being a vocal critic is a great way to get recognized ... but what's more important? Recognition? Or not being an asshole?

I, of course, had to ask if the families of the victims of James Ray's sweatlodge were assholes for being vocal critics. See, I think criticism, and being vocal, have a very important place in this world, and I think that attacking critics for their criticism without dealing with the criticism directly serves absolutely no one.

What transpired was a polite, nice conversation between me, Cosmic Connie, and Mark Joyner. I was impressed with how he handled talking to a critic. This is about the extent of my experience with him, so I won't comment on him or his products/services further. Though if he can pull off what he's trying to do with Construct Zero, I applaud him.

What happened later was even more surprising. I asked Mark if he had ever seen Hoshun, the blind, magic Russian wish dolly. Mark responded that he didn't believe in such things. Within hours, Pat O'Bryan had updated his Russian wish dolly web site with a left-brained western look at Hoshun that balanced out the magical marketing crap rather nicely.

See, now on Cosmic Connie's blog, Pat had actually posted a similar explanation of Hoshun, an explanation you'd never get by reading the magical genie copywriting on the wish dolly site. As you can imagine, the magical promises made in the copywriting was something that even Pat and Joe's friends had taken issue with. To say that Hoshun was unpopular with friends and foe alike was an understatement.

Yet, in sheer and utter defiance of criticism from any source, the site remained up, the product remained for sale, and there were no changes to how the magical genie was marketed.

But when Mark Joyner says he doesn't believe in such things, it all changes. That's all that changed yesterday... that Mark Joyner (perhaps hearing of Hoshun for the first time) says something, and something rather minor at that.

Interesting dynamic, no?

So, I had to wonder. Maybe Mark Joyner has some magical genie powers himself? And we didn't have to paint eyes on him either! Hey, maybe we can start selling jpg printouts of Mark Joyner for $40 a pop that people can put up on their refrigerators to change their whole world!

Now, it is rather apparent that dishing out even the kindest criticism to misguided internet marketers is not Mark Joyner's cup of tea. But the exchange illustrated a few points.

The Level of Respect
When someone that one of the Wimberley mafia respects says something, the Wimberley mafia take action. There seems to be a disconnect between the respect afforded someone like Mark Joyner and their customers. So of course, I have to ask, what would happen if Joe Vitale or Pat O'Bryan treated their customers the same way they'd treat someone they respected, like Joyner? Would that change their business practices?

Would Joe Vitale charge Mark Joyner $5,000 to ride in his Rolls Royce and go to dinner at the Vitale Cigar Bar? I seem to recall that Mark visited with Joe and his merry band of Siglo marketers not too long ago. I don't know if Mark paid them $5,000 to be in the same room with Joe, but I doubt it.

For those who might argue that Joe is an experienced business man and so is Mark and blah blah they have knowledge others don't, I might have to wonder. I don't know enough about Mark to know whether or not his billable rate is fair or not, but because Joe is deceptive in his marketing (see previous posts of mine for evidence and further opinion), I doubt he is worth the thousands per hour he says he is.

But then again, even Richard Branson sells his presence for $40,000 according to a commenter on the Salty Droid's post about Tellman Knudson. Who knows who is worth what. That's not really my point.

My point is that I see a level of respect towards Mark Joyner that is not afforded the average wish dolly customer. And I think that if Joe Vitale, Pat O'Bryan, and the rest of them respected their customers as much as they do Mark Joyner, not only would I have nothing to snark about, but their entire business would change.

Probably for the better. It might even change their entire lives! Total life transformation, right there, guys! And I'm not charging you hundreds a month to hear it! Get congruent: get your marketing lined up with some integrity and your beliefs, respect your customers, and your entire life will change!

Joe said somewhere that he says "I love you" when he's writing or talking to people. I don't see love when you're trying to sell someone something that is "magical" that will change their entire life, as he did with the awakened millionaire continuity crap.

The Level of Discourse
I actually had a decent back-and-forth with Joyner. Yes, Mark Joyner TALKED to a critic. And I didn't bite him. Actually, I walked away from the conversation (actually RAN as I was late for a meeting) thinking highly of him in terms of how he can relate to a critic.

Let's compare that with how I've been treated by the gang in Wimberley. Or how Connie has been treated. They've attacked, ignored, mocked, and ignored some more. Yes, maybe if we IGNORE the problem it will go away, right?

Which method of handling a critic was more effective? I think that's the lesson for everyone (including me).

Effecting Change
Despite opinions to the contrary, my goal in writing anything is to effect change. I would like others to think more critically and not get wrapped up in the hype-notic* copywriting where they throw their money away on garbage so Mr. Fire can buy fake Siglo cigars and pretend he's important. I would like Mr. Fire to stop being Mr. Fire and Joe Vitale to be more congruent with his words and actions and act with the integrity he purports to have.

We got a LITTLE change yesterday. Minor. It seemed to come from the combined pressure of a critic pointing out incongruency and awareness by someone respected. How can we harness that kind of power and influence to effect change elsewhere?

Some say that we can't FORCE people to act ethically. I agree. But can we encourage them to? How so? How do I encourage someone to do something when they think I am scum (because I am not Mark Joyner). And even if I did reveal my identity, I wouldn't have the respect from any of the Wimber-lies... I'm ranked down with "customers."

These are the questions I have.

I am encouraged to see some change. And I am glad to have had the conversation with Mark that shifted things... not only in Pat, but in myself as well.

* With a nod to Ron Kaye, brilliant mind behind "hype-notic."

Party at the Pyre

2010-01-08T17:06:00.000-08:00

Things have been busy around the Pyre, but not in a Pyre-building way. As Joe Vitale's best buddy noted in his hissy fit blog post last month, we're just a bunch of pro-bono critic losers who have no life. Of course this is based upon the assumption that anyone who would ever criticize the perfectly inspired tripe coming out of Wimber-lie couldn't possibly have a life. (Doesn't that logic just dazzle you?)

So, I've been tending to my lack of life, including holidays, friends visiting, and a new project that has my attention and focus for the next couple of weeks.

Mr. Fire has been pretty quiet as of late, not doing much more than pie-in-the-sky dreams of being a trillionaire (let's just skip that billionaire business), fawning over a young starry-eyed opera singer, and taking ideas from other's books and trying as much as he can to make them his own (e.g., the checklist manifesto).

Not much to snark about there beyond a sentence or two.

I'm still waiting on anyone coming forward to talk about the success of their participation in the Awakened Millionaire program. And I'm of course looking forward to any information on how the woman who went into debt to attend that program last year is doing.

Vitale's favorite pit bull minion is chomping at the bit lately with some odd cryptic twitter posts. I suspect he's probably missing his CriticWatch days on twitter, wishing he could pick a fight or two. Boring. For now, he doesn't seem to be getting ready to launch any scam-infested wish doll products with his master, so I don't have much interest in his "limp dick" saber rattling.

For the next couple of weeks, I've got to focus on my new project, the fruition of which won't be discussed here. But I'll be back.

Until then, I highly recommend you follow the fun with Bill Harris, the Salty Droid, and Duff McDuffee at Beyond Growth. Seems that Billy-Joe Harris didn't really like Duff's analytic piece about the Hollow Sink (holosync) products Harris puts out and that James Ray required as a part of his Death Lodge party. So there have been threats, cease and desist letters, and a fantastic New Year wedding that brought tears to my eyes. I've never seen so much love.

If only there were so much love in Wimber-lie.

The New Wage Lottery Ticket

2009-12-20T07:51:00.000-08:00

Compared to last week, this week has been pretty quiet. Pat O'Bryan locked down his twitter account and seemingly calmed down, though he apparently has turned everything over to his legal team. I'm excitedly awaiting subpoena notification.

I guess what riled Pat up last week, at least from the timing of his @criticwatch rampage, was my statement that according to Google maps, it doesn't look like Mr. Fire's house is an "estate" the way he markets it to be. Pat asked to see MY house, but I reminded him that I don't use my house to sell people miracles, awakened millionaire programs, or any other overpriced deceptive crap. Joe Vitale DOES. And that is the problem.

I was talking with someone about the definition of estate, and showed them the Google maps overview. And we wondered if it really was Joe Vitale's house or not. We didn't really believe that he'd actually put his HOME address on his web site and marketing, and my friend wondered if perhaps the local assessor had a web site. Hey good idea.

We figured out that Wimberley is in Hays County, Texas, so we searched for the Hays County Assessor. Found it.

I feel weird posting the actual link to Joe Vitale's property details on the assessor's site. But you can go look.

It says the property at that address is indeed Joe Vitale's. And it's worth $317,000.

Meanwhile, he says on his attractmiracles.com web site:

Today I live with my love, Nerissa, in a multi-million dollar estate and I recently added a $375,000 Rolls Royce Phantom to my growing exotic car collection.

Something weird happened when I saw that assessor web site. I realized that my property is worth a bit more than his. And then I started to feel something.

Yes, even critics have hearts slightly larger than the Grinch.

I started to feel really sorry for Joe Vitale. Sorry for him that he apparently feels a need to puff himself up on his web sites to make it sound like he has more than he has. I then had to wonder if maybe he doesn't own a Rolls Royce, he just rents one whenever he needs to do one of his ever popular Rolls Royce Masterminds. Who knows? The incongruency in his marketing makes me have to question everything he says.

Why don't you just tell the truth, Joe? I'm sure you've been very successful in your business. And I know a lot of businesses that have very successful copywriters teaching how to do that. Why does it have to puff up into a business that is telling people they can have "champagne wishes and caviar dreams" ... just like you ... but like you ... Well, you're not.

So, I feel pity for him. And I feel pity for the people who get suckered in by the deception. The whole thing is just incredibly sad.

And it's just not right.

To me, this is worse than the lottery. At least the lottery, by law, has to give odds. It's like people are buying a "new wage" lottery ticket. Except they think, because of the marketing, that it's a sure thing. They think that Joe Vitale and his sigloid merry marketers really do care whether or not they make a 100 millionaires (do they? your guess is as good as mine), they think that because Joe is SO GENEROUS (look at how he gave $100 to the movers! Operation YES! ... better known as Operation PROBABLY NOT) he absolutely MUST care about them, too. Right?

Right?

If he truly cared, he'd tell you the truth from the start. He wouldn't dangle a phony reality in front of your face and say "if I can have this, you can too." Well, maybe that is the truth. He apparently doesn't have it. And you probably won't either.

Let them use debt!

2009-12-16T09:55:00.000-08:00

Since no one has answered my Awakened Millionaire Challenge, and Joe Vitale and Craig Perrine are silent on the topic of providing details on the effectiveness of their Awakened Millionaire incubation program, I decided to go hunting for writings about the events and program online. Well, I asked my good friend Google to go hunting, and it brought back a little gem.

Here is a blog post from a guy named Suhail from Bahrain who looks like a nice enough guy. There's not a lot of information about the program, it's results or efficacy, or even what was taught in the post. There does seem to be a lot of talk about how the attendees were wonderful people, though.

It was a fairly uneventful read without much information about what transpired at the event until I got to this part:

The whole group was really interesting. There was one Argentinean/Japanese lady. When I asked her what she did for a living, she told me in her accented English “I’m a cleaner.”

I thought I heard her wrong, “excuse me? What do you do?” I asked. “I’m a cleaner,” she said again. I was impressed! I asked her how she could afford this course, because it was really, (REALLY) pricey.

“A miracle!” she exclaimed! She told me how she managed to spread the cost over several credit cards. She had planned to buy a car but instead spent part of the money to come to the event. I told her I admired what she did. When we spoke some more she told me she wanted to break away from cleaning, and that she had started selling Herbal Life products! Whoa! What a coincidence! Another Herbal Life person!

I bet you can imagine how much I would love to hear from either Suhail or this woman about their experience at Joe Vitale's event. It has been about a year since, and I'd like to know how attending it impacted their lives, if at all.

But that little snippet bothers me. Does it bother you? Or do you feel all tingly and miraculous that someone went into debt to attend a seminar, let alone a Awakened Millionaire event. She planned to buy a car, but instead decided to go spend 3 days with -- as Suhail calls him -- the "guru."

She decided that attending his event was more important than transportation for herself. That going into debt was a "miracle."

Now, I wasn't there. I have no idea if attending this event is worth going into debt. It sure raises a lot of questions, questions I think we all deserve answers to. What was promised in the marketing? Was it anything like the Awakened Millionaire Incubator program web site that promised total body, mind, and spirit transformation? Did those things happen for her? For Suhail?

My greatest fear for her is that she's still cleaning houses and paying off the debt of attending the seminar and she still doesn't have her own transportation. And I wonder if she is being belittled by anyone because she went into debt to attend a $10k seminar and doesn't have anything to show for it. I hope she isn't, but as others have pointed out, this is what happens.

I'd write Suhail but his contact page suggests I fax him. I didn't know we were still faxing things.

So, I twittered that I could think of 100 things people should do before they go into debt to attend a program. A twitter friend suggested that would make a good blog post. Well, I've got deadlines today, so I am not sure I will get to 100, but here's the start.

Look for the information in books, preferably at a library
Look for the information online
Not sure what you're looking for? Ask questions on message boards online.
Tell people about your goals. Ask them for their thoughts.
Pray and/or meditate for guidance.
Follow your intuition and gut feelings.
If it sounds to good to be true, IT PROBABLY IS.

The internet may have created a wild west where people are selling anything and everything including total life transformation. But the internet is more importantly a great place to share ideas, knowledge, encouragement, inspiration, and friendship. Most of the places where you get that are free. There are some places where you can get a shortcut of information for a price. But weigh that price against the possible outcome and information.

My advice? NEVER EVER EVER GO INTO DEBT FOR A SEMINAR. EVER. Never go into debt for a program. Never go into debt unless you have a business plan in place, a team of people who can review your plan, and you have a greater than 50% chance of recouping your investment. But if you're going into debt to hear pearls of wisdom from a "guru," please be aware that part of the reason you think that he's got information that isn't readily available elsewhere is because you believe he's a guru.

Because we weren't given any testimonials, data, or other information about how the participants at last year's event performed after attending, we can only guess.

I hope the woman was able to recoup her investment, pay off the credit card debt, and buy a car with what she learned. If not, Joe Vitale's got some 'splainin' to do.

Maybe he'll do that 'splainin to ABC News from the back of his Rolls Royce during a mastermind? You know, talk about how he's driving around a $400k car and has a collection of cars while people are spreading the cost of his seminar out on multiple credit cards while that person forgoes a car herself.

There's such an interesting balance there, don't you think?

Me, I don't know how he does it.

Criticism of the Critics from on High

2009-12-14T13:39:00.000-08:00

First, I'd like to offer my heartfelt wishes for Joe Vitale's father to have a speedy recovery. Joe tweeted at approximately 12:00 Wimberley time that his father had a stroke.

An hour later, he posted the blog post entitled "Kill off P.T. Barnum." Something must have empowered him to criticize the criticism that has been spiraling around the Wimberley Mafia lately.

He writes:

Too many people are criticizing others who are achieving success. Instead of focusing on their own goals, they spend their time and energy writing negative posts and reviews. They don’t seem to see that (a) their work isn’t stopping anyone and (2) their work is a distraction from their own calling.

Wait, what? Did the man who doesn't like criticism criticize the critics?

Should I let Roger Ebert know that his entire career was a waste? Maybe I should make a mailing list of art, restaurant, movie, and literary critics and let them know that Joe Vitale feels their work is a waste of time and that they should really get some psychological help in order to find their own calling.

There is nothing wrong with criticism. Please see my previous post. Criticism is actually helpful, except to those who cannot handle it or those who have something to hide. I'm not going to stop criticizing ridiculous assertions just because Joe thinks it's a distraction from my own calling. He has no idea what my calling is. My inspiration now is to be a critic and satirist, and I am following that inspiration.

Are you not grateful for this? I'm following my inspiration, just like you've taught! Do you have no gratitude for what you have in your experience now? I'm grateful, especially for how easy you've made it for me to follow my satirical inspirations.

And here's some questions... so any criticism or discernment isn't helpful?

What if I buy a car, and the engine doesn't work. Should I resist that compulsion to criticize it?

Where would the U.S. be if nobody had criticized "the Divine Right of Kings?"

How about this, let's say I buy, oh, I don't know, an Awakening Course from "Dr." Joe Vitale, but it's just the same information in a previous book recycled. Oh, right, now we're getting somewhere, aren't we. I shouldn't say anything, I should be grateful that I paid $67 for something I already knew, because if I say anything else about it, I am just distracting myself from my calling.

I suppose if my calling is to pay money to people for nothing whatsoever, then perhaps you're right. I respectfully disagree.

There is an industry here, self help, where certain individuals feel their words are more important than others' words. Joe Vitale feels that his criticism of the critics is completely valid, while the critics are just wallowing in their inability to find their own path. It's like a put down wrapped up in a cloak of superiority.

Some criticism is hypocrisy. That blog post of yours, Joe, is teeming with it.

Just like Pat did with his little "experiment" gone wrong this weekend, Joe tries to turn criticism of his products and tactics around and attacks the lives of people who have the NERVE to look critically at him. And he does it with a trademark superiority complex. Anyone who takes umbrage with his factual inaccuracies and ethical considerations in his marketing and products must have something wrong with them.

Because apparently, in Joe's world, Joe is always right.

Sorry, Joe, not going for it. There's a whole other world out here where people actually think critically and would rather not be hypnotized into buying something they don't need just so you can experience abundance.

I'm sorry your dad had a stroke, and I hope he heals rapidly. But that doesn't give you free reign to criticize the critics from on high.

EDIT: Here's what RevRon has to say about Joe's dismissive missive.

Recap week of December 7

2009-12-13T14:12:00.000-08:00

Where do I even start? It's like a freaking shitstorm of activity in Wimberley lately. I don't know what they're putting in the water down there, but it must be doing something. Or maybe Hoshun is doing it all. After all, he does do magic, according to Pat and Joe. Maybe Hoshun is so pissed at his likeness being sold for $40 that he's causing everyone to do some wild and crazy things.

First, our friend Pat O'Bryan completely lost his mind. He started a new twitter account and phony blog, apparently so as to not tarnish his respected name with his actions. Now, I'm all for anonymity if keeping your personality out of the argument will keep the discussion on facts (instead of personal attacks that have made the Wimberley Mafia infamous). But then Pat O'Breakdown actually puts his respected name on the account. According to this twit, his anger is at me, my writing, this very blog.

I don't know if I should be honored or sad. I mean, I've tried to be nice to the guy while still pointing out that his marketing of a stupid wish doll is, well, STUPID. This blog isn't titled "Pat O'Bryan's Pyre." But he keeps throwing himself under the bus in order to defend his buddy, Fireboy, aka, Mr. Fire, aka, Joe Vitale.

On his blog, he spent an entire day attacking Cosmic Connie and her exceptionally smart and funny dude, Ron. He blamed THEM for me. His blog post comments are just a steaming cup of psychotic delusion.

Listen, Pat, and I know you're listening, the reason I started this blog is the obviousness of the ethical problems of products and services and their marketing coming out of Wimberley. It has nothing to do with Connie, it has nothing to do with my work, it has everything to do with the outrage I feel every time you sell someone a MAGIC picture for $40. You want to somehow have a penis-size competition match and look at my life as a distraction.

He called me a McDonald's fry cook, which doesn't really help his argument much... because if I am a McDonald's fry cook, then even the most rudimentary non-professional understands that a Secret Russian Wish Maker Scammy Dolly Picture is a scammy dolly picture.

After a while, an observation hit me that Pat O'Bryan may actually have some serious mental issues and that criticism might actually put him over the edge and cause him to implode. He was losing it right there in front of us, immolating himself, going after one of the sweetest ladies on twitter. I mean, on her sign-off, she wished everyone a happy Saturday, even to Pat O.

So. I direct-messaged (DM) Pat O'Breakdown at CriticWatch: "I don't think ur well. I'm going to leave u alone as long as you don't wish-doll again, STOP DEFENDING JV, be ethical & I'll leave u alone"

He answered "no deal" and continued on. I had Christmas stuff to do, so I had to leave him wallowing in his cesspool. He continued on his rampage attacking anyone he came across, until he met up with the Salty Droid. I almost jumped in on that conversation, but I thought better of it and just let Pat play with the loaded gun. I think he finally realized that it was loaded. And it was a really big gun that had lots of experience taking care of business.

But Pat losing his mind isn't the only activity down in Wimber-lie. Joe has been extremely quiet these days, though he did say that Pat's post was "wise" and "hard-hitting" in one of his twits. I'd agree with the hard hitting; perhaps something had fallen in Pat's office and hit him too hard on the head, thus starting the need for his reckless rampage.

In other news, a suicide squirrel tried to take out Joe's power, but it didn't work for very long. I would warn Joe to stay away from squirrels, though. Apparently Joe saw them taking notes while he was telling a friend his secrets of the universe. There might actually be a squirrel conspiracy going on to prevent such secrets such as "this is where they keep the nuts: inside Joe Vitale's head," and there could be more kamikaze squirrels headed to his "estate."

Which really isn't an estate, by the way, though he sure likes to tell people it is in his marketing. Gotta keep up appearances.

But apparently all that activity isn't enough.

It appears beyond any reasonable doubt that Mark Ryan has stopped drinking the Joe Vitale kool-aid. He's written SIX posts all of which point to some recent events he's attempting to make sense of. Here are the links to those posts:

If there was ever any doubt in anyone's mind that Mark Ryan was Joe Vitale's "self-sabotaging" friend, I think those doubts can be laid to rest.

The content in those posts is very eye opening. Just the discussion of the types of teachers makes me wonder if Joe Vitale is what Ryan calls teacher type #1. There's that fun little disclaimer on the bottom of that post saying that some people had thought it was all about them, so Mark is putting the whole series up instead of doing it day by day. That happened about the same time that Pat O'Bryan outed Mark Ryan on his twitter account as The Seduction King. Did those posts cause Pat O'Bryan to lose his mind?

On Vitale's self-sabotaging friend post in which he tells his self-sabotaging friend that he's losing out on financial opportunity by cutting of ties with him, isn't that some kind of threat? Isn't that like dangling a carrot in front of the guy and telling him to come back into the fold and be a good little boy and master Joe will give you opportunities? Otherwise, go back to the land of poverty... well, it must be poverty if Joe isn't in it.

Sorry Joe, but money is energy and is going to go where DIVINE SPIRIT wants it to go, not because you're exploiting people with promises of "total life transformation" for thousands of dollars and bullying your former friends with threats.

Apparently, whatever precipitated Ryan's decision to leave the fold had a greater weight than that little carrot. Judging on his blog posts, apparently he grew a conscience. Or balls. Or something. I, for one, hope that he goes forward and makes a name for himself post-Vitale brown-nosing as a lesson to the rest of the sycophants. As Cosmic Connie put most eloquently not too long ago, Joe can't have his empire of dirt without sycophants to support it.

Anyway, something has definitely changed. I guess it doesn't matter what. Ryan seems to be interested in telling his story, and I'm sure listening.

There's one thing for certain: Ryan's tone in these posts is of a man who has recently reclaimed his self worth. He's making some assertions that he came up with the idea for the Rolls Royce Mastermind, which is counter to the story Joe tells.

At this point, I believe Mark Ryan. What does he have to lose or gain by telling these stories? Nothing, really. Joe has everything to gain by you believing him. Maybe Ryan is so mad at Joe Vitale he's trying to discredit him with lies. But take a look at those videos of Joe and Mark in the car. He then talks about how he coached Vitale to become a better public speaker, and there is video evidence that's what he did. In a car, no less. On video. Evidence enough for me.

The information on the next post about ho'oponopono is even more eye opening. Maybe Ryan cut ties with Vitale because he didn't get paid for Zero Limits? And is it true that Pat O'Bryan said that Joe was going give Ryan a $90K car but then went back on it? Maybe that's why Ryan cut ties with Fireboy? And I'm also interested that there's versions of ho'oponopono... you mean it's not all Joe'oponopono?

Do tell more, Mark Ryan. We're all listening.

Through all of this, the other members of the "Wimberley mafia" have been incredibly quiet. Even Vitale isn't doing much more than moving into his new office.

I try to imagine what life is like for Joe Vitale right now. His former VP of Marketing is having conversations with Cosmic Connie, a known snarker of all things Fireboy, and she's got a blog post in the works about their conversations. His former friend Mark Ryan has cut ties with him and is now coming out and telling his side of the story. He has an active group of online critics who watch his every move. His friend and Operation YES supporter James Ray is possibly facing murder charges for a deathlodge. His current friend and pet sycophant is running around the internet playing threatening people and writing completely asinine blog posts taunting the critics and defending James Ray. I'm not sure what I would do if I was trying to sell people the image of the perfect life but I was standing in the middle of a shit storm.

Just a note: you know what just occurred to me ... all you people who write to me and tell your stories of how Joe Vitale did you wrong, or you're disappointed by someone or something down with that group. If ALL of you would just grow a pair and tell your story, there would be NO NEED for my to write a thing. I'm your conscience. But I can't tell your stories for you.

Edit 12/14/09: Pat took down his @criticwatch twitter account, sanitized the discussion on his blog, and locked his own @patobryan twitter account. I'm sure he'll be back, his business relies upon new customers and marketing online, but until then, I'm keeping my copies of the downloaded discussions, screenshots, and other material in the event this post is ever challenged for accuracy.

You are what you hate

2009-12-10T06:08:00.001-08:00

Well, our buddy Pat O'Bryan wrote a little missive yesterday about self-help, the greatness that is his buddy Joe Vitale, and how petty and horrible critics are.

It was then that I realized why he is always hating on Fox News: it's because he is just like them.

The largest criticism of Fox News is that they've been Roger Ailes' mouthpiece for the Republican party since its creation. They twist facts, hide the truth, and go nuts on any opposition to their viewpoint. Wow, that sounds entirely familiar. Kind of like what Pat O'Bryan does for Joe Vitale.

So, really, we could say that Pat O'Bryan is to Joe Vitale as Fox News is to George W. Bush.

See, just like George W. Bush was, Fireboy doesn't like it when he's criticized. He can't stand it. You can see evidence of it in his whining and crying when his former friends wrote a book criticizing The Secret, he whined that there were "hecklers" in the audience in Russia. Because these were apparently people that paid for his event, I suspect that people asked him to become congruent in his statements or challenged him to defend a position. He couldn't take it and labeled them "hecklers."

He lobs passive aggressive responses to any opposition he receives on his blog, if he even posts the comment at all. Fireboy can't handle any criticism at all. You're not allowed to say anything even remotely critical. Even constructive criticism is attacked in trademark Joe Vitale style.

And if he can't do it himself, he'll send one of his Fox-news-esque minions to do it for him just like Pat did with this post.

Knowing this from blatant statements of his, we can only assume that those closest to Joe are not of the critical type. They are the quintessential "yes men" who tell the emperor that his outfit is splendid even though the emperor is wearing no clothes.

What happens in these type of situations where opposition is quashed and obsequious behavior is rewarded? You get crap. You get invasions of foreign countries on spurious data (Iraq, Bay of Pigs), you get the destruction of free speech and the fourth estate, and you get fucking wish dolls. You get toxic groupthink, and the results of being surrounded by "yes men" can be disastrous.

As far as fireboy and company, sometimes the disastrous loss someone's $40 on a goofy wish-doll or a $197 loss on a program that is the same regurgitated crap as his previous book. But sometimes it could be worse. Sometimes it could be someone's last thousands in savings paid to a miracles coaching program that does jack shit for them, maybe it is someone going into debt because they've been hypnotized by amazing copy.

Look, the media has served the place of the governmental watch dog since Johannes Gutenberg got his groove on. Our founding fathers felt that freedom of the press to say whatever they want without governmental controls was so important, they made it amendment #1.

Now we're living in the age of the internet where anyone with a keyboard can say whatever they want. In some cases, we have Fireboy, his sycophants, wish dolls and awakened millionaires. They have as much voice in the world as the government would have pre-desktop publishing. Do these people get to say whatever they want without criticism?

Sorry Fireboy, sorry Pat O'Sycophant, you don't get to do whatever you want without criticism. Just because you've banned dissent from your blogs, your cigar bar, and your discourse because you're too afraid to actually handle constructive criticism just like George W. Bush couldn't handle it, it doesn't mean you can go around sucking others into that vortex without critical examination of what you're doing.

I have my reasons, as does Connie, the Salty Droid, and many others that are critical of the things Fireboy and his compatriots do. Connie has a much more interesting take on Fireboy because she knew him when he was just getting started.

Of course, I am of the opinion that most of your online ventures do not provide the value you proclaim they do. It does not make any logical sense that paying $10k over the course of a year for a promise of total life transformation is realistic. I also don't think your conspicuous charity, Operation YES, has done anything of value either. I don't think you should be allowed to go around talking about how generous you are unless you have some evidence of that generosity.

Basically, all I am asking is for you to substantiate your claims. You say an AWFUL lot without much evidence to back that up, and testimonials from sycophants and the sycophantic-wannabes don't count for much.

As for Fireboy's friend, Operation YES supporter, and deathlodge leader, James Ray, I'll leave that rebuttal to those more interested in James Ray. I will say that Ray is most definitely a hot potato I wouldn't want to be defending right now. O'Bryan says that he's participated in sweatlodges and never had a problem and that "Several people popped out of the sweat lodge at Ray’s event feeling great."

Pat, you're being Fox News in your accuracy again. You need to go read the first-hand accounts, watch the nightline interview with someone who was there, and get your facts straight. No one is saying that sweat lodges are the problem anyway. Lots of people are saying that paying $10k for a sweat lodge is a problem, lots of people are saying that if you pay someone to manage a sweat lodge for you, it better be done right and not kill people. That's why people are claiming negligence and looking at homicide charges.

It's about negligence, Pat. Do you know anything about that? Because on a smaller scale (as you and Fireboy are), I think that many things you and Joe sell do harm people financially and don't help them at all. That's my opinion, of course, and I would love to be proved wrong.

But thus far, neither you nor Joe Vitale have taken any steps towards proving your critics wrong. You simply put up walls and blinders and stomp your feet and whine that people have the audacity to criticize you and Joe for selling things without any proof that they work.

"What if it works" is not valid proof of efficacy. "What if it works" is a question you hide behind so you can't get called on making spurious claims by the FTC.

Criticism is the thing that HELPS you. The day that I stop criticizing your ill-founded marketing schemes and products is the day we will really feel sorry for you...

Good news...

2009-12-06T07:54:00.000-08:00

Yes, you read that right. Good news. And you'll be surprised. I sure was, pleasantly so.

I'm happy to report that this site is now the #1 search result for "he'd sell a rat's asshole to a blind man for a wedding ring." I cannot think of a better phrase to be tied to the Pyre in google searching.

In other good news, did you see the wonderful disclaimer on Pat O'Bryan's new internet marketing coaching page he just launched yesterday? Really. I am not being sarcastic. I think it's a wonderful disclaimer. And I think the marketing for his program is rather honest (from my limited viewpoint as I've never participated in his coaching program). It doesn't seem outrageous. It seems like he's promising some things that could actually be delivered.

Contrast it with the outrageous promises and no disclaimer on the Awakened Millionaire page, I think Pat is showing signs of doing the right thing.

Maybe he could have a conversation about how doing the right thing doesn't hurt so bad the next time he's sucking Rocky Patel with Mr. Fire. (Yes, I know that sounds horrible. But really, I've got to do something to entertain my "audience of one.")

If I see a prominently placed disclaimer on other sites, say for example, the Hoshun site, I might have to stop pestering them about their business practices. Like maybe you could do a disclaimer saying that Hoshun is for entertainment purposes only, that when you buy the wish dolly picture your results are up to you and that getting whatever you want is up to you, too and that Hoshun isn't going to make it happen, but he might remind you that you've got a plan for making it happen.

Then we'd be getting somewhere.

See, I'm not a "hater," Pat. I have a sense of humor. And when I see people talking about recyclable laxatives and wish dollys sold for $40 a pop, I'm going to take a shot... or 40. Sometimes it's going to be funny. Sometimes it's going to be indignant. Sometimes it's going to be harsh.

But when I see responsible marketing, I can acknowledge that, too.

The Awakened Millionaire Challenge

2009-12-04T18:17:00.000-08:00

Ooooh! Look! Did you see? I think Christmas just came a little early! It's....

a SPECIAL INVITATION! From none other than Fireboy and his Norwegian caveman, Craig Perrine. They invite us to join with them in their quest to create 100 millionaires in 2010. Wait, no, not only millionaires, but AWAKENED millionaires.

What would the planet do with that many more awakened greedy fucks running around selling one-eyed wish doll pictures, convincing young Polish girls to throw away their artistic talents on propagating an outdated and offensive ethnic stereotype, or buying more Rolls Royces. I don't know, mother earth, what WILL you do?

I'm certain that one of the things that these bright eyed nascent awakeners will learn is how to design their very own year-long membership program to train even more people how to sell wish doll pictures and clearing tools.

Let's take a critical look at this incredibly enticing offer and determine its value.

Why call it Awakened Millionaire? Why not Awakened Entrepreneur? Just by calling it Awakened Millionaire, they assert that a participant will become not only awakened (which has its own connotation) but also a millionaire. It's deceptive on two different levels.

I would love to see data to back up the assertion that Craig and Joe surveyed over 10,000 entrepreneurs. Did they do this as a part of developing the program? Out of curiosity? Or is this a generalization that they've probably talked to that many people over the last X years, so it fits? Perhaps it's simply a nod to Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers that says it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert? I am of the opinion that they NEVER DID THIS, that this is a false assertion. Though I would love to be proved wrong. The burden of proof is on them to prove they actually did this legwork because they asserted it in their marketing.

Another blatant missing issue is that this sales letter, while promising to create millionaires, is missing something critically important... something that you would expect someone with a doctorate in any type of business discipline to understand and know: a nascent entrepreneur has to have a valuable product or service. Additionally, they have to understand the market, do market research, product development or service definition, pricing, channel research, customer service, accounting, billing, legal filings and develop a meaningful business plan. That's a hell of a lot that isn't marketing. While I will agree that mindset is incredibly important, it is a small part of running a successful business.

But they can't talk about the actual mechanics of developing an online enterprise. Nope. No one gets excited about hard work. They don't even offer a disclaimer that their goal of creating 100 millionaires in a year is a incredibly LOFTY goal. They can't even add a responsible disclaimer noting that most research points to a 5 year mark before new businesses become successful.

A responsible marketer would say that this program is for existing businesses that have an established product or service that only needs help marketing online, but Joe and Craig don't do that either. In fact, they say that this program is so "simple for ANYONE to get started," and that it "breaks everything down into simple steps anyone could follow." Simple!! These statements alone mislead people into thinking that a blog, a twitter account, and listening to some of Joe's ego maniacal stories are going to make people into millionaires.

All of the "exclusive" information they promise to provide is freely available on the web. There are A TON of people who have web sites dedicated to teaching about how to communicate online. With all of that information freely available on the web, why aren't there more millionaire stories from bloggers and twits?

The fact is, STARTING and RUNNING an online business is much much more than that.

The statements on the Awakened Millionaire web site are not realistic. The data says its not. Even Malcolm Gladwell, who likely gags on his own vomit every time Joe quotes him, has research saying that it takes 10 years, 10,000 hours, of practice before someone gets good at something. This is not just about sports, painting, or pulling Hoshuns out of your ass, it applies to starting and running a successful business, too.

Joe Vitale and Craig Perrine sell their "awakened millionaire" crap as if it is the end-all be-all, and they're charging people fees that make their unwitting prospects think that this is all they have to do to become internet millionaires in one year.

And then there's the torture...
I page down and learn that for $10,000 over a year, I'm going to have to sit around and listen to Joe tell the same goddamn stories he tells in his books about how HE made money. How does that help anyone? It does nothing but satisfy his own ego. Joe's case is not typical, and I don't think hearing how "miracles" happened for someone else are going to make miracles happen for me.

I'd rather hear about how hard he's worked (I bet he has, even despite his spurious claims that he sits around reading, smoking cigars and drinking scotch all day while the money just rolls in), the strategic partnerships that have made a difference, the mistakes he's made (isn't it true that we learn more from mistakes than miracles), and how he's managed the difficulties of cash flow in a fledgling business. Now THAT would make a difference, wouldn't it?

Oh, but we get the privilege of asking them questions if we apply! Oh, wow. How kind. Someone pays anywhere from $1200-$10,000 and they get to ask Joe questions. Wow, what a privilege. Will he end his responses with the trademark "blessings" when someone pisses him off? (Yes, Joe, it's that apparent. Just go re-read that escape from Russia comment thread.)

But... but... we're SPRITUAL!
But the thing that REALLY gets me is how Joe and Craig bring spirituality into this muck. They promise "total mind, body and spirit transformation." First, how does ANYONE measure this? And second, how the hell does this have ANYTHING to do with running a business? If someone is going to learn how to transform mind, body and spirit, they should learn from someone who has actually done it, not someone whose expertise is talking about himself all the time or someone else whose expertise seems to be setting up blogs and mailing lists.

Next, they promise: "The Awakened Millionaire Incubator program is all about transforming your finances and every other area of your life. It's about making you a true... Aakened (sic) Millionaire!"

Well, see here's something. Joe Vitale and Craig Perrine are promising that they're going transform every other area of my life, huh? Now we're talking value! My dog keeps crapping on the carpet. Can you transform that area of my life? Because I'd surely welcome Joe and/or Craig coming to my house and cleaning that shit up every day, and if they want to teach the dog to stop dumping on the carpet, then I think the program is a tremendous value.

But if they're going to tell me to ask Hoshun to stop making the dog shit on the floor, then we have a problem. I don't think Hoshun is going to clean up dog shit. He's apparently much too smart for that. I don't think Hoshun is going to transform every area of my life. I want Joe and Craig to do that.

Any business school, hell an undergraduate ethics class, would teach that people can't make promises like this without some kind of evidence to back it up. It's unethical at best and downright disgusting. I think it is a rip off.

Oh wait, but Joe's pretend degree is in "the study of the unknown," as he explained on Fox and Friends a few weeks back. I guess he has figured out how to promise unknown wealth to people, too.

The Awakened Millionaire Challenge
So, anyway, here's a challenge. Let's be just like Fireboy and brand it. I'll call it "The Awakened Millionaire Challenge." I want to hear data from someone - anyone - who was at the Awakened Millionaire event that Joe and Craig are selling. I want to know if they were average people who followed Joe and Craig's "simple steps" and are now millionaires simply because of what they learned at the event. I want them to stand up and provide proof that these "proven marketing and promotional techniques that have produced millions of dollars in sales" have actually done so.

That weekend was last year sometime. Well, that's about the same timeframe as what they're selling right now. So all those people who attended that event got the same kind of treatment, right? Why isn't there one actual testimonial from a person who attended that event last year on their site? I want to know how many awakened millionaires they've created already! Surely at these exorbitant rates, they've got a decent track record, right? They say these methods are PROVEN.

Let's make them stand behind their assertions with some actual data, actual testimonials, and proof that what they say is true.

Friends of the Fire

2009-12-02T09:12:00.000-08:00

So, I've been doing some research, and through the things I've found, I think I have a fairly educated guess as to who Mr. Fire's self-sabotaging friend must be.

I think it's Mark Ryan. Here's why.

In Mr. Fire's blog post about his friend, he notes the following.

It's a close friend. This, to me means that it is one of the Siglos.
He's known the guy for 5 years.
It's also a business relationship.
He planned on doing additional products with the guy.
It happened before he went to Poland.

Okay, let's see what people he has CLOSE to him, for 5 years, that he does business and products with? I don't know either of them well enough to know if I am right or not, so I have to use what information I can find online.

In terms of CLOSE friends, we've got your standard issue Siglos: Pat O'Bryan, Mark Ryan, Bill Hibbler, and Craig Perrine. It is definitely not Pat, because every other twit or blog post either of them do shows that Pat's nose is still firmly planted up Joe Vitale's ass. I assume Vitale takes his daily dump by first moving Pat's face out of the way.

Bill Hibbler went to the book signing last Friday. If it was him, he'd likely not go to that. So, he seems to be quietly still in the fold. For a while, I thought it might have been Bill because Bill hasn't done any projects with Joe, and he's still pushing his book "Meet and Grow Rich" that he wrote with Joe four years ago, as we can see from his twitter background.

Craig Perrine has been characteristically silent lately, but he is still doing stuff with Pat (assuming that he's the "craig" running his membership coaching site) and he recently did Joe Vitale's blog redesign. We know that this event happened BEFORE he went to Poland or he wouldn't have had conversations with Andrzej about it. But Craig did his blog redesign just before he went to Poland, and Joe promoted Craig's lovely work there AFTER he wrote the post about his self-sabotaging friend.

So, we can be fairly certain that it's not Pat, Bill, and likely not Craig.

Which leaves Mark Ryan, the Seduction King himself. (Though, looking at his seduction stuff, and then listening to some of his last podcasts, it seems he's gotten out of the seduction business because he has a wife and kid now. I do wonder how she deals with knowing about her husband's past as a womanizing seduction guy, who just two weeks ago was posting on YouTube how he is going to use hypnotic videos to collect a harem, but this crowd is full of crazy rationalizations to excuse their behavior and choices.)

So, let's look at Mr. Ryan's recent activity. On a recent blog post about the Sweat Lodge deaths at James Ray's event, he wrote:

I’ve been thinking about this all week. It dovetails with some other recent events in my life, including certain aspects of my visit to Russia where I had to trust other people with my safety and well-being. I had to trust that those people who invited me on this trip had my well-being in mind during all aspectsof the trip. (As many of you know, this didn’t exactly happen. More later on this.)

Well, more never came. At least it hasn't come yet. And the only thing he's written about his trip to Russia was positive which of course contrasts with Joe Vitale's now-sanitized blog post where he blamed his bad trip on everything from his Vice President (Peter Wink) to "Russian wolves" to his, and of course Mark's, beliefs about Russia being a bad place.

That post kind of threw me, though, because in it Joe talks about Mark saving his life and how he'd have been buried in Russia today if it wasn't for Mark. There is an awful lot of gratitude in that post of October 9. But the Ryan post that seems to show some stirring of discontent was October 17.

But there's nothing in Ryan's blog posts that say anything about him having a falling out with Joe. And given his typical method of revealing everything publicly, even some rather unsavory details on his podcasts, it is uncharacteristic of him to not go public with dirty laundry if it really is him.

But there's more evidence that makes me suspect.

It started with his twitter saying that he's reading The Sociopath Next Door and another link about what sociopaths are like. Now, this could be about anybody at all, and might not be about our friend Joe, and I can't figure out the timing from anything either has written online. I am probably reading something into this.

But we do know that Joe does products with Mark, and he intends/intended on doing more projects with him (see the escape Russia post). They have done seminars together, they have done free teleseminars, and they have the Subliminal Manifestation DVDS that they do together. The last one was the Zero Limits DVD. So he fits the bill as close friend and business partner who he wanted to do projects with.

Five years ago, according to these videos, Mark Ryan helped Joe Vitale at his booth at a convention. Sidenotes: it's hilarious to see a hairless Tellman Knudson in the video, and also hilarious to see Joe Vitale give mad props to Kevin Hogan. The feeling here is that Joe and Mark are recent friends, recent enough for Joe to give Mark a pile of his products. There does seem to be a camaraderie between the two of them.

With Ryan's relative silence, it's hard to tell whether or not it is him. But by the process of elimination and these other points, I think it's him.

That post of Joe's saying his close friend is self-sabotaging has been disturbing me since he wrote it. The arrogance that anyone who might not want a close relationship with Joe Vitale is self-sabotaging turns my stomach.

There is a long line of people who were once friends with Joe who now find him distasteful. I could name names, but most people know who they are. There are the friends who wrote the book discounting The Secret to hurt him; this he has spoken publicly about. And there are others... not too hard to find them.

So. That's my best guess.

I emailed Mark Ryan about my suspicions. He didn't email me back. But someone else supposedly close to him did respond to my inquiry, and I'm in the process of vetting them to see if they're telling me the truth.

When God Talks...

2009-11-28T12:57:00.000-08:00

That is the most ridiculous blog post ever. Hey, people, three book titles say that God wants you to be rich, so it must be true, so you really should be buying my book and also getting into my miracles coaching program. Why? Because God says so.

And "what if it works?" You really should be using the what if it works shtick here, Joe. I miss your trademark marketing concept. It's all over everything else, why not your new book?

Oh wait, I have one... "What if God wants you to get into my coaching program?" You know you're thinking it, why not just say it?

It's just not even fun to try to pick apart the hypnotic rhetoric in that post... because it's nonexistent. It's as transparent as a geometric proof and boring.

Boo. You're going to have to step up your game to keep us entertained.

They Keep Reminding Me Why

Obviously, following my inspiration to start this blog came from more than just a little scam-infused wish doll. Something larger is happening here, and something larger than me wants this information to become publicized. Maybe there is a new book coming out called "God Wants You to Call People on Their Bullshit."

So, Pat O'Bryan basically says that he can market whatever he wants whether he believes in it or not because someone might believe in it somewhere, and if they buy it, that's their deal and he's just going for TRAFFIC. He writes on his blog:

"The philosophy, as explained by Kevin, helps me to understand why people listen to Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, Howard Stern, and other “shock-jocks.” They may or may not be promoting positions in which they believe. From a marketing point of view, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that people listen. Some listen and agree. Others listen and disagree. As long as they’re listening, and interacting, they’re traffic. And, as Internet Marketers, we know how important traffic is."

I'm sorry, but if you do not believe in the product you are selling, if you say yourself that the product is going to do certain things or that people are going to have certain results with the product, but you have no data to prove it and you yourself think the thing is bunk wrapped in bullshit, then you are a fraud.

Does God want you to take a Russian businesswoman's idea and use it to defraud people? I didn't see that book mentioned.

Am I calling Pat O'Bryan a fraud? I have blatant data showing that Pat has said that he doesn't believe in anything woo-woo. Here, he's saying that it's okay if you do or do not promote things that you agree with or believe in.

I'm willing to bet he doesn't believe in the Hoshun doll he sells. And I'm willing to bet he doesn't believe in ho'oponopono, clearing, cleansing, or anything else, which makes me wonder how much he believes in his clearing audios.

That, to me, is suspicious and makes me really wonder. But I would love to post an apology with a link to Pat where he says unequivocally, "yes I believe in the magic of the Hoshun. I believe everything on my sales pages and I always have."

Then, instead of wondering how he could say such incongruent statements, I will wonder if he is a complete moron.

Hiding from Sniper Fire, Mr Fire?

2009-11-13T08:13:00.000-08:00

Mr Fire announced yesterday that he had found the secret to Poland's vast wealth and riches. Yes, were you not aware that Poland is one of the richest countries in the world? Just like Siberia's vast wealth can be attributed to a little doll named Hochun, resurrected as Vitale's own Hoshun paper doll printout (yes, a veritable lifetime supply!) sold for $40, Poland has vast riches attributed to...

wait for it...

a picture of an older Jew counting gold coins hung in homes across the country.

Oh, great, well then that explains a lot.

This is just another gimmick, another expensive and ineffective superstition marketed by Joe Vitale. I thought about this new product for at least a day. Friends and complete strangers emailed me asking me if I was going to say something about it.

But there was something larger that was bugging me. See, he SAYS he's not making any money off of this, that he is, out of the generosity of his "heart," helping a young artist get her start and make money for school.

This may be true. He may have traded his marketing acumen for free photos from "Poland's greatest photographer." Only they really know.

But see, a kid is involved. And I don't want to quash the kid's spirit. Her art is pretty nice considering, and I think wow, maybe I should just lay off of this one because of the kid.

Wait a minute!

Don't criminals take children hostage and hide behind them so snipers don't kill them? And when the snipers (me in this case) start taking aim for the common good, the criminal (him in this case) hold the child up as protection, so that the KID takes the bullet? (The common good being that of exposing the crazy superstitions Joe Vitale uses to extract money from his legion of followers.)

Oh, good lord, he's more insidious than I thought. Yes, that's entirely what he's doing, figuratively at least. He's recovering from the hochun/hoshun alleged thievery debacle by hiding his superstitious trinket peddling behind a child.

He's even using the same chintzy marketing gimmick. He can't TELL you it works, so he says, "What if it works?"

Could you imagine if someone sold you a car and said, "What if it works?" Or a house, "What if it is inhabitable?" It's just infuriating to see people fall for this scam. If there is no evidence for it working, then you can put that "investment" money on a bet that it doesn't.

Now here's where I am really angry. If he really believed in what he says, then he would be encouraging the child to paint original art from an inspired place that comes from within her. He would NOT encourage her to paint art that is a superstitious trinket.

Look, she's a kid. She doesn't know any better. Hell, here's this supposedly famous (infamous) author from an exotic foreign country (American!) coming and telling her how to start a business and make money. And maybe she will make money. Good for her. But he's exhibiting exactly what others have criticized him for doing. He's teaching someone who is very impressionable that she should paint for money instead of painting for inspiration.

I think there are elephants in Thailand who are painting more inspired pieces. With apologies to the girl. But seriously, you shouldn't have to put your own inspiration on hold because the ego of a not-very-famous author from my country thinks that because he believes in superstitions, everyone else does.

This is not a criticism of the girl or her work. Not at all. Her style looks marketable and a piece infused with her own passion and inspiration is much much more marketable than a reproduction of a piece of art infused with greed. And then she actually begins to build her following as an artist.

Why does Mr. Fire not tell her THAT? Oh, right. Because it has nothing to do with his overblown EGO.

But that, my friends, is the truth, and that is what will bring her REAL wealth, the wealth of feeling that spirit is moving in and through her in inspired ways. Right? I mean, that's what Vitale himself preaches, isn't it?

But he must not have much interest in this young artist beyond her selling something that he wants and wants to market. Because if he DID have any interest in her talent or marketability, he'd encourage that next big inspired piece of artwork that is lying dormant within her.

And this, my friends and not-so-friends, is the critical point of contention that I have with him. He is a hypocrite who spouts off spiritual platitudes with no depth whatsoever while he really preaches and believes in greed and nothing more. It is not about being inspired by "the divine." It's about being inspired to MAKE MONEY.

Which leads me to the point others have written to me about.

Okay, you know the old stereotype about Jews and greed right. Well, take a look at the message of this art. You'll have to set the whole Polish superstitious custom aside... I mean seriously, there are African countries that have superstitious customs of female genital mutilation, too, customs don't make it right, folks.

A Jew counting gold coins?

A few quotes from around the web about this from people who say it better than me.

"Poland has changed in other ways, too. The government has made real efforts to recognize the Holocaust and preserve what is left of Jewish life before World War II. There is clearly anti-Semitism, although no one will admit it publicly. I saw and photographed a painting for sale in a small market with a very ethnic looking Jew counting gold coins with a horrible smile on his face. Individuals with ethnic hatreds are hard to change." from here

And another:

"One vendor surprised me as I came upon him because he was selling his paintings done of Chasidic Jews. But why here of all places? I called Alex over to see if it was worth buying one or two, but Alex told me to look closer and, sure enough in each picture those religious Jews were all doing the same thing, counting money.

"I quickly suggested to Alex that I buy it, put my fist through it and then hand it back, but Alex responded, "Why give him a penny?" and he was right..." from here

And one more:

"In the town center (as everywhere in Poland), one can buy depictions of Jews, ranging from folksy wooden dolls of klezmorim (Jewish musicians) to stereotypical paintings and dolls of a Jewish man counting money or holding a coin, or with grossly exaggerated facial features." from here

I don't think Jews take too kindly to people selling this type of artwork. It continues a stereotype, a stereotype that isn't fair. Okay, well some people who bitch about Wall Street might think it's an accurate stereotype, but seriously... even if it is, aren't these the very things that a spiritually minded individual would work to move past?

I mean, no one, not even the most narrow minded bigot in the world can say all Jews are like the ones depicted in this artwork. Not possible. And THAT is the problem with stereotypes. And that's also the problem with buying this piece of art and supporting the stereotype.

The stereotype doesn't serve anyone. It holds an entire group of people in a place where they are persecuted for a non-truth.

And, if putting it up in your home or office affects your unconscious mind the way Mr. Fire says it does, won't that insidious belief of a stereotype affect YOUR beliefs and actions unconsciously?

Haven't the Jewish people suffered enough?

So, Mr. Fire finds an old superstition in Poland that is anti-semetic at best, recruits a young artists in his plan to sell and distribute the superstition and the anti-semetic artwork, and if I say anything about it, I need to feel guilty because he's doing it out of the goodness of his heart... right.

Keep going, Mr. Fire. I can't wait to see what complete idiocy you come up with next.

The Medium is the Message: What "Free" Means to an Internet Marketer

2009-11-09T08:32:00.000-08:00

Well, Mr. Fire took a solo trip up to New York City where he twitted away like he was in the lap of luxury that he's never experienced before. He even ate at the same restaurant movie stars do! Wow! The innocent, child-like schtick goes far, though, as at least one of his fellow twits wrote that he was so down to earth.

I guess she isn't aware of his extensive car collection or his lavish Rolls Royce, his first class flights, etc.

Don't know which planet earth she referred to, as it most certainly isn't the one I'm walking on.

Vitale was the last segment of the Fox and Friends morning show, encompassing all of 4 minutes. His primary focus was selling his latest book, Attract Money Now. The book is available as a free download or for $30 if you want a hardcover.

Across every single page of this book is a mention of his miracles coaching program. The back is chock full of mentions of his products. Well, no wonder he's giving it away. No wonder he's got infomercials airing across the country promoting the book.

We're led to believe he's giving you a gift, a gift of precious information he's learned over 30 years of building the Vitale Marketing Empire, a gift he's giving away out of the goodness of his heart. But any rational person would have to be suspicious of someone who would spend so much time and energy to give away a book, especially someone who performs as much conspicuous consumption as Joe Vitale.

I don't discount that there may be valuable information in the book. I don't discount that there may be some value in some of his products.

The problem happens when we begin to associate the value of the information with the values of the individual. These things are mutually exclusive. Just because he's giving away information, information that is pretty much available many other places, this does not mean he's a good person doing this out of the goodness of his heart.

The INTENT is what is important here.

Vitale is a businessman, a businessman whose present and past behavior points towards one thing and one thing only: making a profit at all costs. The profit comes first and foremost in his intent.

You only have to look towards some of his products and services to understand this.

So, say you read the book and decide to purchase products or spend thousands on his miracle coaching program.

Does Joe Vitale himself become your "miracle" coach? Far from it. He's got a staff of many individuals who will provide this service, and upsell you on other services. Their job is also primarily to turn a profit, a profit for the miracle program. Vitale himself does not oversee this individuals. In fact, you're not even working with a company he owns. He's outsourced it. These miracles coaches are going to do their best to turn a profit for THEIR company and employer, too.

Look, Vitale started out as an internet marketer. Do people forget this? He likes to call himself the buddha of the internet, whatever the hell that means. His fortunes started because he was good at writing copy, writing copy that encouraged people to buy. He sold this skill to corporations for a large sum, and then he began to turn that skill towards making his own corporation financially successful.

The message may be altruistic, but the medium is the message in this case, too. The medium of a "free" book, conspicuously given away, should be your foundational message about what the book means. Take whatever information from it that helps you, but make sure you realize that the information that helps you is cloaked in a sales letter intent upon upselling you much more expensive products and services.

Why Mr. Fire's Pyre

2009-11-07T10:06:00.000-08:00

In the past, I was a Joe Vitale supporter. He seemed harmless enough, and I honestly believed he was doing what he could to make the world a better place.

Yes, I knew he lied in his marketing. Yes, I knew that many of his products were recycled crap that he pulled out of his ass. But I did at one point believe that those annoyances were minor and could be overlooked.

I guess I wanted to believe.

But then I started seeing the pattern of deceit and how deep it went... the breadth of the deceit throughout his loose organization of siglo marketing partners.

I probably thought that the ho'oponopono rebranded as Zero Limits was some kind of saving grace, because that really did make sense to me and I felt that it made a difference in how I viewed my reality.

But the crap Joe Vitale products still kept coming out, especially the Clearing Audio crap.

Clearing for Luck? Are we trying to clear up our past psychological trauma, or are we trying to clear the way to the roulette table?

How do I take someone seriously who does this crap?

It was about that time I started investigating further. I began a conversation with a friend I met at one of Joe Vitale's events, a friend who was fairly close to the core of the organization. This friend let me know some very troubling information, troubling enough that I began to see that Joe Vitale and his band of merry marketers were not the innocuous peddlers I thought they were.

I have to protect my source, of course. And I can't go directly after this information in the public eye unless I see evidence of it publicized.

But until then, I'm going to be one of the voices in the wildnerness calling spades as I see them.

It was the doll, really, that got me completely burned up and made me commit wholesale to the exposure of every one of Joe Vitale's moves for what it was.

Then his partner in fraud Pat O'Bryan started giving me some shit about making fun of their little Russian doll JPG scam. And then there was some evidence out there about how perhaps Maria, the creator of the "secret Siberian wish maker doll" had approached Joe Vitale to enter into a joint venture in bringing Hochun, the original Siberian wish maker doll, to the American market.

It's just not right. It's probably illegal, but I'll leave that to the lawyers. From my vantage point, it's definitely unethical and enough of a reason for me to take aim and fire some shots.

A note about the name of my blog and email address: I wish Joe Vitale the man no harm whatsoever. You might even say that I am doing him a favor by acting as his conscience against some rather unconscionable acts. The "pyre" is for the public persona, the perfect life where nothing goes wrong and his experience is a result of his purity, the larger-than-life ego...

He'd do better off without those. We all would.

This is not a hate blog, though I'm going to throw my punches. Yes, I have better things to do, yes, I am pathetic for even focusing on his because people in their right mind should know better.

But I know a lot of people, myself included, who knew better and still got suckered in each for our individual reasons. If anything I write helps one person, then it's worth it.

And I know he's reading. He can't help but read what I write. And some day if I ever see him again, he'll thank me. We all need a stiff cup of wake up and smell the coffee sometimes. Now, it's his turn.

He's been given a gift of a very high profile, and he continues to botch that opportunity to make a real difference in making this world a better place.

As for that Pat O'Bryan character, though, I have a little less patience or desire to make much of a difference. He's just a complete buffoon, and his motives resemble that of a serpent I once met.

Tips? Ideas? Comments? mrfirespyre at gmail dot com